WHO DAT SAY WE GONNA HAVE AN ELECTION?

Christ, it seems like we have an election every other week down here. Something tells me that the proximity of Mardi Gras and City elections are hardly coincidental. But I doubt those who benefit most from it will do much to change it, I'm pretty sure the Super Bowl only makes it all the more sweet for them. Perhaps if the complacent masses were to engage in some sort of collective bitching we might be able to get the elections moved to a less cluttered time of the year (tangent loosely inspired by this).

I get an erection for a good election. However this political season has been rather blah. I mean Nagin is finally going away (fun fact: His last day in office is May31st which also happens to be my birthday)! We should be engaging in the kinds of public fornication as seen moments after Hartly's field goal. Instead we are left with the kind of line up that would inspire MC Hammer into taking up ballet.

Of course maybe this is what we need. We've spent centuries of having entertaining, charismatic, leaders who robbed us blind. We like to blame "those corrupt bastards" in power, however when it comes time to vote them out we blame so in so in district whatever and vote back in binky the clown and his wonderful bag of cream pies that we enjoy having smashed into our collective faces! (yeah, I don't know where I was going with that.)

(Warning: Sports Analogy) Sure we could have the flashy popular or charismatic bad boys like LA Lakers or Detroit Pistons in office, or we can have the boring ass San Antonio Spurs that is always in the championship game or damn near close to it year after year. Public office should be boring filled with people who go into work and simply work. Maybe we should bring in some asshole (i.e. competent) IT guy to block off facebook and ebay so they can maybe spend more time scrubbing that budget instead of posting pictures of their celebrity doppelganger on Facebook.

Anyway the Mayor's race is a joke, instead of debating issues and policy they pretty much claim they are going to do the same thing and they only debate on experience, who's got their back, or how black they are. Nothing of substance. As a result Landrieu is more than likely winning with no run off, so let's forget that race and focus on the other ones.

Assessor
The most important race in my opinion. The city had seven assessors that pretty much ran uncontested for years, and what I mean by years I mean double, no triple digits! Claude Mauberret III's family has held their spot for the 2nd District for 100 years. Errol Williams has held his seat since 1984. The 3rd major candidate Janis Lemle was a deputy assessor to reformer Nancy Marshall who unseated long term assessor in the 6th District.

It's pretty clear cut who has my vote here. Keep an eye out for these race-bating fliers. When handed one be sure to point and laugh at the idiot who gave it to you. If it was left in your mailbox or on your door I guess you can laugh at those instead. I don't think laughing at a mail box is a felony.

Sheriff/Coroner/Judges
Has an incumbent Sheriff (in any parish) ever lost a reelection bid? Has their handpicked successor ever lost? Why do we even vote for them? Why do we vote for the Sheriff but not the Chief of Police? Why do we vote for the fucking Coroner? Why aren't Judges just appointed and approved by elected officials like the supreme court? Seriously I don't know, please explain this to me!

City Council District A
Since I live in Lakeview and too lazy to cover the other District seats I'll just cover District A. Didn't we (I was still living on the Northshore at the time, so maybe I should say you?) vote out Jay Batt after Katrina and hate his guts? Shelly Midura seemed to be pretty cool and I was digging what she's been doing with her hair lately. Wish she'd run again. I guess I'm rooting for Guidry since she has a better chance of beating Batt.

City Council LIVIN' AT LARGE
No one is really talking about this race too much. Fielkow and Clarkson are gonna win again. No one have given me any good dirt for this one. Most seem to like Fielkow. Eh.

Well I'm out of material, go vote before you get hammered! Go Saints! Fuck ESPN! I'm sick of Katrina Human interest stories! I like big butts and I cannot lie!