Superdeformed Hates the Internets

9.16.2012

Trading in the Large Japanese Truck for a small Korean Car

Well, fuck weeks 1 & 2 of this football season:
  1. Fuck RG3
  2. Fuck Cam Newton
  3. Fuck, piss, & crap on Steve Smith
    1. Just kidding! He'd like that.
  4. Fuck Roger Goodell
  5. Fuck lists
  6. Fuck Gregg Williams
  7. Fuck  Steve Spagnuolo
  8.  Fuck Aaron Kromer
  9.  Fuck the Saint's Defense
  10.  Fuck the Saint's Offensive Line
  11.  Fuck Mickey Loomis for not offering Brees 30 Million a season & franchising Carl Nicks
  12.  Fuck fuck fuck
All in all I think I've come to terms with the Saints having a losing season. God knows I've lived through plenty of those. 

I wonder how Goodell will fuck over the Giants and the Jets next season? 

I doubt he will. The NFL's wettest dream would be a 4-way Super Bowl of the Jets vs. the Giants vs. the Packers vs. the Steelers.

9.09.2012

OPENING DAY 2012 OR.. Buy a new Lawn Mower with wedding giftcards DAY

Saints 2012 Thoughts (IN OUTLINE FORM! YEAH!!)

  • Why couldn't Roger Goodell and Gregg Williams just off themselves in a Mexican standoff? 
    • 2009 was the only season Williams contrived and idiotic game plan ever worked was because it was Darren Sharper's last hurrah. 
    • Goodell is a corporate stooge who like all corporate stooges does things to appear to be doing something thinking it might fool anyone.
  • Bountygate Opinion: Fuck Everybody
    • Fuck Goodell for reasons above and..
      • Just throw a lot of money at crippled retirees already. Jesus Christ is that so fucking hard? 
        • The NFL is nearly 100% profit anyways since local governments subsidize the holy fuck out of it so teams won't leave.
    • Fuck Gregg Williams. 
      • You who else liked to blitz a lot? Hitler.
    • Fuck that smug motherfucker Sean Payton.
      • While I enjoy you taking out your cock and wiggling it in Goodell's face you could of, I dunno, not have a convicted felon emailing you spreadsheets detailing bullshit locker-room bets.
        • Why not offer Jimmy John's gift cards to players who fucked up instead?
    • Fuck "legitimate" sports writers who are not Larry Holder
      • Now I know how fans of roided up MLB players feel. Jesus Christ get over yourselves.
    • Fuck annoying know-it-all "WHO DAT" conspiracy theorists.
    • Fuck ME
      • Just kidding I'm married, wife only (maybe I should have edited this out?)
  • The 2012 season I will feel nothing but conflict with my curmudgeonish "we're dooooomed!" feelings I've always had growing up with the Saints.
    • It's going to be all forms of retarded ranging from:
      • Homers predicting nothing short of Superb Owls and undefeated records
      • Reality-based people expecting a so/so season
      • Crazed local CBS affiliate bloggers proclaiming it be all or nothing.
  •  EMBRACE THE HATE
    • I never much cared for the fake sympathy lapped on us after the federal flood and I really hate hearing from outsiders that we need to stop bring up Katrina when It's Football Night In Amuurrrika™ brings it up.
    • I am 100% on board with Wang's branding the Saints with the NWO 
  • ITS BEEN FUN
    • Maybe I'll post more this season? I dunno. One post a year is fine by me.

12.22.2011

STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO or I GROK THE HOUSING CRISIS AND IT'S HILARIOUS

I watched the 60 minute's piece on foreclosed houses in Cleveland last weekend and it got me thinking.

So banks forclose on a house, kick the owners out, and then walk away. The city or parish (or "county" like you lame-o-s call them) take ownership from back taxes and the properties are blighted to fuck causing other houses to lose value which in turn means it's more profitable for other owners to abandon their houses have them foreclosed and repeat FOREVER....

The first thing to pop in my head: Why don't the banks, take a loss, lower the principle, and let the owners pay a smaller note they could afford and make some money? Or to appease conservative mindsets, fix up the house and sell it (which would ultimately cost the banks even more money than lowering the principle)?

Then I remembered that banks don't need to turn a profit, they'll just get more money thrown at them because they hold our economy hostage! HURRAY!

12.17.2011

ITS BEEN FUN CAREER

Is it just me or do these new Hornets players look like someone took a shit in their Corn Flakes™?


Stolen from @FletcherMackel


Stolen from @Gkatt_17

I wonder if former NBA players smile more when they show off their new Uzbekistan Flying Hyenas jersey when they play overseas.

11.26.2011

HOSTILIDAYS 2011

I haven't noticed any Hostilidays™ posts yet, so am I firing the first shot?

9.13.2011

Saints: Week 1 or The Shounen Power Creep

In the realm of Japanese Cartoons & Comics there is what as known as the Power Creep. The Power Creep is most common in Japanese comic books (Manga) and cartoons (Anime) aimed at young boys (Shounen). The textbook example cited most by scholars and assholes with too much time on their hands is Akira Toriyama's epic tale, Dragon Ball.

Dragon Ball is the story of a mysterious monkey boy named Goku who was raised by an old martial arts master. This weekly comic ran for over 11 years and includes such exploits as: Goku fighting desert bandits. Goku competing in martial arts tournaments. Goku fighting demons who can blow up the moon. Goku fighting super-powered androids. Goku saving entire alien civilizations. And eventually Goku takes out a deity or two.

The basic story structure is as follows: Goku gets beat up/killed. Goku gets better/resurrected. Goku trains and becomes more powerful. Goku beats up/kills whomever beat/killed him. This is the patented Shounen Power Creep™.

In week 1 of the NFL season our New Orleans Saints were set up to partake in this grand tradition by taking on the returning world champion Green Bay Packers. I seriously doubt Roger Goodell is much of a Dragon Ball fan but he couldn't have set up a more perfect situation.

Like Goku, the Saints faced a seemingly all-powerful opponent. Like Goku, the Saints fought to their last breath always staying within striking distance of victory. Like Goku, everyone counted him out after the battle.

In week 1 the Saints lost to the Packers. So far so good. The first act is now complete. Next begins the all important training story. Goku would engage in some weird and death defying training regiment. The Saints "training" will be making it through one of the tougher regular season schedules of the NFL. Sure, Goku might fall down but every time he gets up he becomes just a little stronger. The Saints will gel as the season moves forward. Ingram will become more seasoned, Shaun Rogers will get a little more used to winning, Zack Strief hones his craft as a starting offensive tackle, and Patrick Robinson becomes a quality NFL defensive back. All the while Drew Brees makes his case for a Hall of Fame bid and the rest of roster "powers up" in their own way.

After the regular season comes the playoffs. The Dragon Ball equivalent would be a Martial Arts tournament or a series of battles with the bad guy's underlings. After that Goku would beat the final boss, the person or thing that beat him and drove him to his grueling training regiment. Basically, the Saints work through the playoffs and ultimately beat the Packers in the NFC championship game. GO WITH ME ON THIS!

However, this is where the story makes it's big, but pretty predictable, plot twist! After countless casualties, painful injuries, and driven to sheer exhaustion Goku can finally breath a sign of relief and take a break. But wait. What's this?! The villain Goku defeated was nothing more than the bad guy's weaker form! After a hideous transformation the real final battle is about to begin! This is the Superb Owl! Aaron Rogers has morphed into his second form, TOM BRADY!

For those who've read this far CONGRATULATIONS! You really don't win anything except for maybe realizing I'm a huge fucking nerd. But that's ok. Why? Simple.

In the end Goku always wins. Therefore, #wegotthis.

BONUS Content - Warning: It's Stupid.

9.07.2011

SUPERDEFORMED'S 2011 HAND EGG PREDICTIONS

Disclaimer
: Guy is in no way shape or form a sports writer. Guy is just some jerk who plays fantasy football, pulls for the local teams, and bitches incessantly when it's not an utter blowout on twitter.


The 2011 NFL season promises be a little chaotic due to the labor bullshit this past off season. I'll try to make weekly posts this season, but I ain't promising anything. After consulting a "higher power" (spoilers: me). I have put together a simple batch of predictions (some may call them "picks") of who will make the playoffs and what will happen. Hell, I'll even pick an MVP and Rookie of the year.

Predicting every regular season game, while a very simple task for someone such as myself, would be too boring with it's accuracy and result in a lot of typing I don't feel like doing.


AFC West: San Diego Chargers - The Chargers will be a beast until Rivers loses his shit, once again, in the playoffs.
AFC East (BYE): New England Patriots - If there is a "god" they'll go 18-1 again.
AFC North (BYE): Baltimore Ravens - The Piccolo to the Steelers Son Goku, their games will be epic and hopefully they'll meet again in the playoffs.
AFC South: Houston Texans - I'm 90% sure they will prove me wrong and shit the bed again. If they make it they will lose in the first round of the playoffs to a Wildcard team, I'm guessing the Steelers.

AFC Wild Card 1: New York Jets - Foot festish for this football will give them a leg up on the competition. I MADE A FUNNY. (No not really.) They'll embarrass the Chargers in round one and then be destroyed by the Patriots in round 2 by Tom Brady and Chad Ochocinco.
AFC Wild Card 2: Pittsburgh Steelers - I predict they will meet the Ravens in the playoffs only to be defeated by the Ravens in a massive comeback that will involve Ray Lewis BLOWING UP THE MOON! (FYI: this is a Dragon Ball joke)

AFC Champion: New England Patriots - After a dominating season and cleaning up the scraps of a decimated Raven's team, after their epic battle with the Steelers, will they once again become Superb Owl™ champions? Find out below.

NFC Wild Card 1: Tampa Bay Buccaneers - They'll surprise everyone by sweeping the Falcons this season and making it to the second round of the playoffs.
NFC Wild Card 2: Philadelphia Eagles - After a red-hot start they'll lose the NFC North after Michael Vick misses 4 consecutive games at the end of the season.

NFC West: Arizona Cardinals - Yet another 9-7 NFC West team wasting a spot of a better NFC South Team (Sorry Falcons). Michael Vick is going to treat them like a Pitbull.
NFC East: Washington Redskins - "Legendary quarterback ""Rax Grissman" will once again SHOCK THE WORLD by leading a team further than anyone ever expected him to. Sadly it will only be to the first round of the playoffs. Josh Freeman and the Bucs will fucks them up.
NFC North (BYE): Green Bay Packers - After narrowly defeating the Saints in week one and a full season of National commentators proclaiming them a "dynasty" they'll stomp a mud-hole into the Eagles.
NFC South (BYE): New Orleans Saints - After being written off by NFL pundits in a devistating loss to the Packers in week one: the Saints will pull themselves together and dominate with their running game. They'll beat the Bucs for a 3rd time in one season and exact their revenge on the media darling Packers.

NFC Champion: New Orleans Saints! Duh!

Superb Owl Champion: New Orleans Saints! - After the Saints secondary is decimated with injuries the Saints resign Mike Mckenzie after the NFC Championship game. Once again, Tom Brady will Taste the Difference™ as McKenzie comes up with not one, not two, but THREE pick sixes! HAHAHA screw bias!

Rookie of the Year: Mark Ingram - He will be the Saints first 1000 Yard rusher since Deuce McAllister in 2006.
Most Valuable Player: Tom Brady - He'll be his typical future hall of famer self and have an outstanding year. His number one reciever will be Chad "Tom, stop calling me Randy!" Ochocinco.

9.02.2011

The Token Rising Tide 6 Post
Name-dropping like a mofo!

Rising Tide was last weekend and I attended with my lovely
fiancée Natalie. Here a brief rundown of events.

Friday Night: Greet-N-Meet at Tracey's (The Real Parasols™)

Natalie and I arrive around 7:30. I said hi to a few people I remember from a year ago, Sophmom and DangerBlonde to name a few. After placing a food order we were treated to a round of drinks by one VargVargas. I intended to buy him a shot but timing never matched up.

My friend Louis and his girlfriend Annie stopped by and hung out with us since they live in the area. We mainly hung out with them with brief guest appearances by the singing engineer Tim Ruppert, Lafayette homeboy Karl Schott, a sweaty Mark Mosley, and a nice hug from Mags.

Speaking of sweaty, I was dripping with the stuff. For some reason there were 5 parties going on at once inside of Tracey's: it was a steam bath. It was Tracy's one year anniversary, a parade krewe was meeting up there, and some odd folk singer was playing. Other mishaps transpired.

I mixed up LunaNola and Racymind on my twitters/in person which led to confusing exchanges in person and online, sorry. I also misread a tweet from Jeffery thinking he wanted to start a mosh pit in front of the folk singer(s). I was totally on board for this endeavor, but alas, maybe next year.

After like two drinks Natalie wanted to go home to spend "quality time" together. So she got her picture taken with a dude in a "EVERY DAY I'M HUSSLIN'" t-shirt and we were off. We left at 10pm and I totally missed meeting the internet's Brian P. Moore, of internet fame.

Rising Tide Proper
We made it to the con with the first panel already underway. We grabbed black coffee and some pastries. During the breakfast festivities I learned of the greatest innovation in the history of Rising Tide: the Beer Bracelet™. Half way through the 2nd panel I was starting to incite a beer riot on twitter. Luckily the beer started flowing at 11am: and boy did it flow (heavy on the head at first).

The panels were fun, I made snarky comments on twitter the entire time. David Simon's STANDING rant and calling Mitch Landrieu an asshole was pretty funny. The capping the well panel was good as well, especially when the panelists explained the state and the oil industry is constantly engaged in consensual sex. My favorite panel was the food panel, I dunno, smug assholes are endless entertainment for me.

In the middle of everything we enjoyed a kosher pulled pork with mac and cheese lunch at the "cool kids" table with Ashley Award Winner Clifton Harris and Cade "I can't make it to the after party because of the kids" Roux. I had constant beer trips throughout the panels, 95% of the time Karl was either walking up to or away from the bar.

Shocking moment of the day came during the Ashley Award ceremony. I was "nominated." 2010 was a pretty slow year for me on the blogging front, so maybe it was a hint? Luckily, a blogger who deserved the award got it instead, congratulations G-bitch. Keep on bitchin'! Please don't kick my ass.

During the final panel I started drinking a lot more beer and passing out cups to help Mags finish off the last keg. I later learned that Karl and myself made the best use of our beer bracelets. So after the panels Natalie and myself talked with Pistolette and Adrastos. I don't remember about what, I was pretty drunk.

After Party at the Rendon Inn
After the conference we all filled up the Rendon Inn. I was starving and nodding off at the bar. Talked a bunch to Karl and had to explain to Mr. Vargas that some random guy in the bar looked nothing like "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase. I also turned the world upside down by ordering half of a sandwich via twitter (thanks Pistolette). I'm all about innovation on the information super highway.

I felt sorry for the bartender since she was serving a full bar all by herself. I hope everyone tipped the fuck out of her. The food was pretty good as well. Couldn't drink the free Rum beverage everyone was drinking. I don't like rum, had it been whiskey-based I would have polished it off.

Epilogue
Overall Rising Tide was pretty fun. Xavier was ice cold and had working bathrooms so it's the best venue thus far by most accounts. I hope the Beer Bracelet™ is here to stay. Felt like a victory lap in a way, nothing too hard-hitting political wise, but maybe we all need a breather.

More Shout-outs
I wish Grandmaster Wang and Cenlamar could have made it. Loki was greatly missed as well: no one could pull off the whole Rockstar MC thing. Wish I said more than an awkward "Hello" with Maitri. Should have said hello to Athenae as well for that matter. Oh well.

Fun conference guys. See you next year.

PS:
Here's some pictures Natalie took because she's awesome.

4.26.2011

WHERE IS THAT LARGE AUTOMOBILE?

With work and babysitting taking up my life and DEEP HURTING taking up my internets time I have been avoiding this blog thingy.

I shall rant about something SOON!

1.16.2011

TEST PODCAST 2: The Quickening

Still working out the bugs and getting used to hearing my own voice and all that crap. Eventually I am going to have to get a libsyn account or something to host this.

Debating on a name for this, maybe I'll just call it "Superdeformed Hates the Internets" and make this blog and podcast one in the same.

Anyway, in this episode Chris, Lance, and myself review Megazone 23 Part 1. I wanted to do MD Geist, but youtube was not agreeing with us that night. The microphone picked up my sister cooking dinner for about the first half of the episode.



The format is pretty loose. I did a bunch of editing, but I doubt any of you will notice. We recorded a news segment, but it didn't make the cut because it was boring and dragged on.

Leave feedback in the comments section.

DOWNLOAD THE DAMN PODCAST



Errata:
Megazone 23 was made by AIC and ARTMIC not Studio NUE. SORRY OK?!

12.21.2010

The Hostiliday Post

Well kids, it's that time of year again. Let's start out with a little biddy I might have postededed before but it always get me in the Hostiliday mood. (ps: This was made back when people used VCRs)



Feeling chipper now? I know I sure am. You know what? I feel like taking a ride.



Ok, that was kinda lame, boring, and a lil creepy. No wait, this is creepy.



OK OK, enough of that. Time to close this out with a little cheerful and whimsical Hostiliday tale sure to bring joy to the whole family. ARGGHHH FUCKING HOSTILE.

12.08.2010

PODCAST TEST?

So after years of listening to podcasts, I've decided to do one myself. My friend Chris came over and we did a test run. I'm congested and fat so there is a ton of heavy breathing and throat clearing.

This is just us rambling, the first episode will be an Evangelion review since that should generate cheap heat, feedback, and is fresh on my mind from a recent ANNCast. Chris and I talk about how he came into contact with Eva and I make smart-ass comments. Notes will be taken and editing might go on when there is an actual show to record.

Stay Tuned.

Download and give me some advice in the comments. Trolling and flaming will be encouraged.

12.02.2010

O'Henry's Food and Spirits

STUFF

10.19.2010

Superdeformed's Journey into Science Fiction
The Lensman Series: Introduction and Triplanetary

For my first audiobook I chose Triplanetary by Edward E. Smith, the "first" book in the Lensman series. Lensman was first brought to my attention by my local Blockbuster video back in the summer of 1994. I was just getting into the whole Japanimation thing and by this point I've rented most of the "Action Animation" section. I was looking in the 'videos for sale' section and I came across Streamline Pictures' Video Comics™ release of the 1984 Lensman feature. This was the first Anime I have ever purchased. Up until that point I was renting tapes and recording them. Yes, I was a horrible video pirate, please turn me in to the MPAA.

The Lensman Anime movie was the first directing gig for an up and coming Yoshiaki Kawajiri, the know, that crazy guy who directed Wicked City and Ninja Scroll. The movie itself was very conservative in comparison to the bat shit insane stuff he would do later, but it was still entertaining.

Triplanetary was originally a series of short stories published in Hugo Gernsback's Amazing Stories magazine back in the 1930's which had nothing to do with Lensman. Smith really started Lensman with Galactic Patrol several years later. Confused? Good.

Lensman originally consisted of Galactic Patrol, Gray Lensman, Second Stage Lensman, and finally Children of the Lens all of which Smith wrote throughout the 1940's. In the early 1950's Smith revised Triplanetary to be the origin of the universe, revised the original Lensman books and wrote a prequel to fit between Triplanetary and Galactic Patrol titled First Lensman so that they all fit together as one series. This might have paved the way for assholes like George Lucas but let's not get into that.


Triplanetary
The first half of this book covers the back story which I assume is what Smith tacked on for it to fit into the Lensman universe. Billions of years ago our Milky Way Galaxy and another Galaxy passed through each other. As a result two ancient and powerful races came into contact with one another. From the Milky Way was the peaceful and wise Arisians and from the other galaxy the power-hungry and ruthless Eddorians.

Upon their first direct contact the Arisians realized that they could not coexist and erased the Eddorian's memory of them ever meeting. Arisia knew that they were not capable of taking out such a powerful foe and set forth to create a weapon capable to do the task, the Galactic Patrol. At the same time Eddore began their methodical invasion of the Milky Way.

The Arisians set forth massive eugenics projects among the life supporting planets, indirectly grooming the native species to fit their needs, and focusing on a few bloodlines which would later produce the main characters of the later books. The Eddorians on the other hand manipulated intelligent beings and stifled civilizations from advancing to higher levels of mental awareness.

After this basic run down of the Arisian/Eddorian relationship the book goes into five stories of the male Kinnison and the female red-haired/gold eyed female bloodlines covering the destruction of Atlantis, a failed assassination attempt on Nero, and World Wars 1,2,& 3 all of these events representing Eddorian attempts at stopping human development. The World War 2 story of a munitions expert is of some interest because some feel it was a semi-autobiographical story of Smith's own experiences during World War 2.

This part of the book usually causes people to nod off and lose interest. But what draws my attention is the detail Smith carries out in his world building he left no stone unturned in his explanation. The 5 stories of the human bloodlines were the payoff to the somewhat drawn out exposition of the Arisians and the Eddorians.

Now the book moves on to what was originally published in Amazing Stories before the retconning into Lensman. The story is now set in the near future with man branching out into space and colonizing Mars and Venus thus creating the Triplanetary League, before faster than light travel was possible.

The actual story of Triplanetary deals with the adventures of super spy Conway Costigan and his battle against the Space Pirate known as Gray Roger (who was really an Eddorian all along!) and the abrupt "power up" battle with the Nevians, an Alien race who was in need of Iron and possessed faster than light travel. The conflict and eventual alignment with the Nevians resulted in humanity obtaining faster than light travel and more powerful weapons which Costigan and the Triplanetary Secret Service was then able to use on the Eddorian-controlled Gray Roger in the climatic battle.

Triplanetary would also introduce red haired/golden eyed Virgil Samms and Roderick Kinnison who would play bigger roles in the following book First Lensman. Sams and Kinnison were the heads of the Triplanetary Secret Service. After the defeat of Roger, Samms began to formulate the ultimate defense force, the Galactic Patrol. Just as planned.

While the human (and alien) characters were pulpy and not all that deep the real stars of the book was Inertialess drive and Ultrawave technology. Larry Niven, Issac Asimov, and Robert Heinlein would later use these fictional technologies, or variations of them, in their books. What I also enjoyed about this book was the grand scale and the battle between opposing Godheads. I like how the interactions be it conflict or trade between the humans and the Nevians lead to innovation and refinements of both species' technology.

The real magic of Lensman, which Smith started with Triplanetary, is that while it is presented in the story it seems like a a lighthearted and pulpy tale of adventure, but then you look back over it or summarize it to a friend it sounds pretty insane. Anime, especially the older stuff, had this magical property as well, but in an even more severe fashion.

So let's break this down in very stupid colloquial.
So there's this spaceship right? And this bad dude named Gray Roger takes the ship. and the sole survivors prisoner. There's the first mate, the captain, and some chick. But wah.. the first mate is really a SPY named Conway! He totally uses his sweet ass secret spy gear to break him and his posse out. So they are like running away from the bad guy who's a SPACE PIRATE and is totally possessed by some old evil super alien from another dimension.

Anyway, motherfucker steals a spaceship and while he's running away from the bad guy's huge ass spaceship, they are all of a sudden attacked goddamn aliens, FISH ALIENS with 4 ARMS AND 4 LEGS! They take Conway and his runnin' crew's shapeship and shoots the space pirates' ships with some crazy pink light that takes away all the iron and the bitches are all left naked in space with all the iron in their blood sucked out like MAGNETO or some shit!

So the crazy fish aliens don't have iron and they have a dude searching for it and he finds a fuck ton of it in the middle of space. He sees some kind of aliens using it and he's like "punk bitches can't hang" and snatches their shit and kidnaps a few for the crazy fish alien zoo.

So being a spy and all he spies the fuck out of the Aliens and beams x-ray pictures of the Alien technology back to Earth. While all of that is happening the Aliens send a spaceship to Earth and DESTROYS PITTSBURGH! So Conway's boss who's like the head of fuckin' space ninjas inc. sends the spy photos to his mad scientists who start making a totally sweet spaceship to kick the stupid space fishes' asses.

Now our hero is stuck in a glass room all bored and shit having all these fish people looking at him. While he's sitting in his cage he uses his crazy spy ray to study how they drive their cars and spaceships and stuff. He acts depressed and bored the fish people give him his gear from his space ship so he can pass the time. He makes poison, breaks out of his cell and KILLS OFF AN ENTIRE CITY.

He gets in a spaceship, WIPES OUT 2 MORE CITIES to free his friends and they fly back to Earth with the aliens hot on their trail. Halfway home they meet up with the new bad-ass Earth ship and they fight the Aliens to a draw. The Aliens are like "oh sorry dawg you people are all smart and shit, we cool, we don't value life and all that, lets trade stuff and be all you know indifferent and shit."

So after getting the hook up of Alien technology. mankind thinks things are cool, but Gray roger comes back bigger and badder than ever because you know because he's possessed by evil super aliens and shit. But, he didn't know the Earth got even stronger from all the dope shit they got from the fish aliens. So they kick his ass until he's dead, Conway and his girl make out and they live happily ever after.

THE END?
Yeah that didn't work so well for Triplanetary but it'll work so much better for the rest of the series. They make a planet cannon that shoots out actual planets for god's sake!

Next time on 'Superdeformed's Journey into Science Fiction' ... The rest of Lensman

10.13.2010

5 Anime for Peoples Who Hate the Japanese and Their Lousy Cartoons

Japanimation was once the super-slick state of the art entertainment medium that was taking the world by storm. Today, not so much. The coke-induced fantasies of the Japanese bubble economy, that got many people like myself into the art form, gave way to a transition period of "HOLY SHIT WE'RE FUCKED!" as the bubble popped. Today Japanese Cartoons sit in the corner rocking back and forth thinking "happy thoughts" to itself as it laments it's lost childhood and dreaming of banging it's kid sister.

Yes it has become pretty shameful to be into this crap. After seeing this I've decided to curb the shame with a list of Anime for different types of people. I'm sure other Japanimation Otaku will disagree, but that's what comment sections are for!

List 1: High Schoolers

Most Anime fans today are high schoolers. These shameless little demons swarm conventions like locusts and eat away any form of social order and human decency that might have been present before, though I cannot confirm if either of those things were ever there in the first place. Keeping this in mind and the fact that high schools have "anime clubs" now this list will be pretty standard fare for most Anime Fans.

5. Dragon Ball Z
4. Trigun
3. Naruto
2. Death Note
1. Bleach

List 2: Fundamentalist Christians

Like teenagers screaming internet memes and wearing signs begging for sexual favors (see List 1) Fundies love to suck away any source of joy and/or common sense out of the world. This lot blindly believes that a collection of books, a bible, was written by some deity and not scribbled down oral traditions like countless other collections similar in themes. Anyway, is Japanese cartoons right for them? Of course it is! GOD made it!

5. Saint Tail
4. Evangelion
3. Butt Attack Punisher Girl Gotaman
2. The Mysterious Cities of Gold
1. SuperBook

List 3: Stay-at-home Mothers

Moms. You've got to love them. Got to love them even more if they stay home with the kids all day. I am so sorry As The World Turns was canceled. But worry not! Turn off the Judge Judy and watch these visual delights!

5. Kaasan - Mom's Life
4. Sailor Moon
3. Code Geass
2. Rose of Versailles
1. Revolutionary Girl Utena

List 4: Film Buffs

These poor souls tend to be un(or under) employed and have squandered away their time in college on a useless film degree. Talking to them about movies is depressing on many levels, not only has their training utterly demystified the art but whatever you like is WRONG.

5. Ghost in the Shell
4. Cowboy Bebop
3. Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind
2. Perfect Blue
1. Akira

List 5: Serial Killers

If you've been into Japanese cartoons as long as I have, you might have wondered why Japan is not over flowing with these guys. Anime, Manga, and Japanese film has some pretty sick shit going on in them. Maybe these things are an outlet for those urges and calms down the crazy killer types so they can go to work the next day. Oh wait a minute. Silly me. I forgot everyone in Japan was unemployed. Well hopefully they can occupy themselves by watching these cartoons instead of, you know, killing people.

5. Death Note
4. SuperBook
3. Crying Freeman
2. Urotosukidoji
1. Doomed Megalopolis

Epilogue

Well, there is my list of 5 lists. To sum it up, lists are bullshit. That's right! I'm a complete sham! A Hack! People like stuff for various reasons, typically they go with the herd, but some people actually have opinions and godbless them for it.

Anime is not popular with the public at large, never has been really. People just know what Anime is now. I'm sure we can cherry pick a few shows that might appeal to the masses but they are in short supply and they are just as hit or miss in terms of catching on as anything else ever made in Hollywood.

Sure, everyone and their mom loved Cowboy Bebop, Princess Mononoke, and Vampire Hunter D. However, some of the Anime I have shown to my non-anime-fan friends, which they liked, are the ones that I would not have guessed they would have liked in the first place. I've shown Captain Tylor and Gunbuster to a few of my friends on a whim, mainly because I felt like watching them, and they've fallen in love with those shows. One of my friends and I talked about Evangelion a lot and got a good number of our non-anime-fan friends into it as a result.

As fans it is not our job to market this stuff aggressively. We're just here to enjoy it and if some friends want to come along for the ride then that's even better.

10.11.2010

Superdeformed's Journey into Science Fiction

For those who do not know, I happen to have a dark secret in my past. You see, as a child I failed the forth grade and barely passed the third grade before that. This puzzled my parents and most adults who know me because I was a pretty smart (nerdy) kid. Most of my public school teachers would say, "HE LAZY" (their words mind you) but the few teachers who've actually taken the time to know me were perplexed as well.

I'd always turn in assignments late and/or never keep up with people on tests and reading assignments. It was never a lack of trying I'd stay up til midnight doing homework that I started as soon as cartoons ended for the day (5pm). After a while I'd just skip it anyway and make up for it on tests. But this was all not enough for the 4th grade.

The summer after that dreaded school year my mother took me to an Optometrist. We quickly learned I had Strabismus. I did not a crazy case to where I looked cross-eyed or something like that, I also had 20/20 vision, but it was just enough to where I'd naturally want to read the same sentence over and over. Once I was diagnosed a lot of things about me made sense, why I had a hard time looking people in the eye (it was assumed shyness), why it'd take me hours to read a page of a book, why I was such a slow writer, why I'd literally want to pass out while I did homework and why I'd alway lean my head to the side when I focused on anything.

So after a Summer of eye therapy and I returned to the 4th grade and was on the A/B honor roll the entire year, the rest of my school life I hovered around a C average since I was more interested in other things and I had a pretty turbulent home life. I fucked off for a few years after high school, never intended to go to college, but eventually I went and got my Computer Science degree.

I'm not completely and utterly cured of the Strabismus. I'm still a slow reader and it still wears me out after a while. I guess that's why the fickle nature of the internet has always appealed to me, reading is done in short bursts here. I've always enjoyed being read to I liked stories in long form but unless I had an assignment and a deadline to push me, I have a hard time reading a book. I can never get in a comfortable position and after 10 minutes my eyes will get heavy. After about 2 paragraphs I will notice I'll want to start rereading a sentence and I'll have to close my eyes and remember my old eye exercises and reorientate. Still, I am faster than I was prediagnosis but it's still exhausting.

After college I had no classes requiring me to read, I've grown tired of most Japanese cartoons, and skimming Wikipedia made me long for actually reading the source materials for what my favorite movies and cartoons were influenced or based on. I've always pondered to myself "I should read more" but never get around to it or I've tried a few times and stopped. Then one day it all clicked. I realized why I don't read that much (see above) and it occurred to me I should try audiobooks. Maybe Leo Laporte's Audible ads brainwashed me.

Initially I was a little apprehensive. I wondered if I'd lose anything by not seeing the words or if the reader's performance would mar my perception of the story. After the first book I didn't find any of those problems. I was able to listen to the books during idle times at work, when I was doing the overly mundane kind of tasks I have to do everyday at work, or on my daily commute. Win win since I feel like I have decades of reading to catch up on.

Next time on 'Superdeformed's Journey into Science Fiction' ... Lensman

9.25.2010

Super Dimension Space Battle Cruiser Ship Fortress Hyper Fighter Craft LIST THINGY

The other day someone tweeted me this really lame list of someone's favorite spaceships. Anyone worth their salt in nerd lore will immediately notice that a. this guy likes Star Wars, 2. watched that Battlestar Galactica show on TV once, and iii. doesn't understand what repulsorlifts or speeders are.

So after being that guy for a little while mocking the list on twitter I've decided to kick it up a notch and be even more like that guy and make a list of my very own! Not only do I get to prove I have a bigger geek dick than the Orlando Sentinel but I can leave myself utterly exposed to be mocked as well, in addition to all that I will be providing content for this piece of shit awesome blog. Win win for everyone!

Preface: Hard Mode
This list will not contain anything from mainstream television and movies of the last few years. Sorry, no Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who, or even popular Anime stuff from Starblazers (aka Yamato), Macross (aka Robotech), Cowboy Bebop, and to make it even harder on myself Gundam! ha! By God! My nerd penis is so HUGE!! Look at me!

The List

123. Dauntless - the Lensman Series.
Not only was it shaped like something Bill Clinton would use to make one of his interns famous, but it was a SUPER-DREADNAUGHT which sounds totally bad-ass! The Dauntless was the favorite ship of everyone's favorite Second Stage Lensman Kimball Kinnison and was the flagship of the Galactic Patrol until it was replaced by the not so bad-ass but way more tactical Z9M9Z command ship.

VI: Exelion - Top o Nerae! Gunbuster
This sweet ride helped defend planet Earth from the galactic immune system and housed not only a huge army of flying robots but the Gunbuster which the show is named after of course. After being decommissioned the Excelion spent it's retirement BEING A BLACK HOLE!

100110101. Hyperion - Legend of the Galactic Heroes

The Hyperion was the flagship of the for great tactician Yang Wen-li of the Free Planets Alliance. For such a simple looking ship no other could command as much respect and fear. Like one time the bad guys attacked the good guys, and like Yang was not on the ship right? And the bad guys were all "oh snap! the Hyperion! We bout' to get f'ed in the a!" and they punked out like a bunch of lil bitches. Yep, that's exactly the kind of show Legend of the Galactic Heroes was.

27. The :D Ship - Heavy Metal
Not only does it look like something from a Van Halen poster but the ship from the So Beautiful and So Dangerous story looks like an adorable "colon dee" smiley face. I on the other hand see it as an ominous red-eyed Quintesson type of thing. Just ignore the green things, go with me on this.

☆☎☜. Heighliner - Dune
This massive ship can fit an entire fleet in it's hull and are the only things capable of traveling long distances in space in the Dune Universe. They're piloted by these things and were involved in the greatest scene in science fiction cinematic history.

111111!1. Arcadia - Uchu Kaizoku Captain Harlock
The Arcadia is the super swank space pirate ship of one Captain Harlock. She's manned by a capable crew of potato-head men and has Harlock's best friend's brain for its computer, or something. Of all the iterations of this ship I like the original blue ship most of all. Check out that bayonet, I mean RAM. You won't see that on a Star Destroyer well maybe if George Lucas wasn't so much of a bitch. Yeah that's right, I'm calling you out George!

Epilogue
That should do it for me. I believe I have cemented my "Geek Cred" beyond a shadow of a doubt and above all else shown to the entire universe that lists are stupid! Unless it's a grocery list because you've got to make groceries or a list people you've slept with, because ,you know STDs, bragging rights, take your pick. I do enjoy David Letterman's top 10 list on occasion as well. Ok, so maybe the jury is out on lists.

Ingest more Scifi, damnit! Leave some feedback (So I know I'm not wasting my time [which I am.]), sing my praises, or to correct any mistakes (as if) in the comments below.

**Thanks to Dave Merrill for the Arcadia picture, and Google® for all the other ones.

9.17.2010

Rising Tide 5: A Convention without Cosplay
Serpassing all Expectations

This past weekend A few weekends ago I attended Rising Tide 5, a one day local blogger/rebuilding type of conference down in New Orleans. I was immersed in a crowd of strangers all on my lonesome since none my my friends were interested in going. Now that I think about it, I should have invited Ally since she's pretty prolific on the twitters. Anyway, I did a lot of pacing, drinking, and keeping pretty much to myself. But I did meet a few people along the way.

Day 1: Pre-party

Friday evening I drove down to the Howling Wolf in the Warehouse district. Parking was non-existent so I used a parking garage across the street. I then walked up and in to the Howling Wolf. Inside a band was setting up for a gig. No bloggers to be seen. After asking around by a couple of other attendees who showed up at the same time we discovered the party was in the bar and grill attached to the side. I go in, start my tab, drank a few beers, and watched the Saints game.

At halftime I had enough liquid courage within me to go up to strangers. My typical greeting was "SO, WHICH INTERNET PERSON ARE YOU?" Most people had their real names on their name tags, this is an internet people conference, I needed internet names damnit.

After some Rising Tide staff "fabulous prizes" were awarded the party wound down and people stumbled off to hotel room parties or, in my case, bed.

Day 2: The Actual Conference/After-Party

I kind of slept walked/drove to the conference the next day. After enjoying same baked goods and moving my car to a parking garage instead of parking illegally like other attendees I took and seat and watched the first round of panels. At the initial "smoke break" I got my first beer and pretty much averaged a beer per panel from then on.

Panels were informative and a lil' preachy to the choir at times but that is to be expected. Some of the "questions" by the audience were more people getting on their soap box, kinda reminded me of people calling in to radio talk shows.

My favorite panel had to have been the politics panel, with Clancy DuBos being the MVP. Seeing Ronal Serpas on a panel Serpassed all Expectations™ with me. The keynote speaker was pretty funny, anyone willing to call Bobby Jindal a "fucking douchbag" is a-ok with me.

After the conference I helped carry some donated food to someone's car. After much deliberation by organizers and other attendees the location of the after party was chosen, the Half Moon just off of Magazine Street.

At the after-party I was starting to get a lil more comfortable but I was still in observer mode overall. The bar itself and the cheeseburger was alright. I left slightly later that most, but there was a good 10 left who gave me a round of applause when I left.

Blatant Name Dropping or "Man my first impressions are going to be sooo wrong if I read this 10 years later."

Mark aka Oyster was a nice goofy guy, hung out with him more at the after party. He was one of the few who stood up to my staggering 6'3 3/4" 6'4" frame, he was an inch or two taller than me. We share a birthday with Clint Eastwood, go us.

Jeff from the Library Chronicles, loves piss beer and is just as much of a smartass as I expected. He did a good job of inflating my twitter ego. For some reason he assumed the identity of another blogger at the pre-party to what I can only assume would be to ruin his good name.

Varg from the Chicory seems to be the life of the party, he and his wife gave me some wedding pointers the during one of the smoke breaks, good people. At the after-party he told me about the alcohol lobby he wants to start up.

Lamar of CenLamar was pretty cool, sharp guy. Sucks that he lives in the blander part of the state. Just kidding.

Met one blogger didn't realize who he was then noticed he was Jason Berry aka Ashe Dambala of American Zombie fame. Initially he reminded me of a guy I used to work with in college, then after realizing who he was he came off as some darker internet badass. Silly human perception.

Peter aka Adrastos wacky guy with a nice hat (or was that the other way around?), seemed a lil busy or distracted. His wife was nice and was making everyone feel at home.

Karl was a real bro' he was a reoccurring hangout buddy. I hear he lives a double life in California or was that online? I forget.

Loki aka George aka not a damn Yankee aka so New Orleans he shi... um never mind, had a very rock star attitude. I guess being cramped up in Ohio will make anyone snap in that way? He runs too many websites for me to reference here.

Tim writer of his own namesless blog has a kid into the Animu and put me on the spot about my Hulk shirt at the after party. Dry and sciency which is rad. His Dam(n)/Levee Safety panel was fun.

Derrick and Mags were cool. Though I mainly plotted bank robbery with Derrick on twitter.

Honorable mentions go out to Racymind and Virgotex whose real names fail me now. They were cool chicks.

I met the infamous linchpin of the underground journalistic movement known only as The Lens Karen Gadbois. Didn't talk to her much but she had a real glowing personality to me.

Who else? Leigh and Sharon seemed to be the den mothers of this motley little convention. They were hip dames.

Pistolette was cool, pretty sure she could kick my ass. She had some opposing viewpoints which is good.

I know I am leaving a few people out. I blame the alcohol and social awkwardness. I'm also bad with names. Anyway, didn't really meet a bad person really decent human being.

Epilogue

Rising Tide was a fun conference overall. Next year should be a bit better since I know people now. One more thing, I learned I was almost not allowed in because of the "guyhatesyou" thing. People were wondering if I was some kind of hate group or something. "The one man hate group" I kinda dig that.

8.25.2010

RIP SATOSHI KON


On Tuesday Satoshi Kon died of pancreatic cancer at the age of 46. So was it a big deal?

http://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2010-08-25/director-satoshi-kon-wife-writes-about-his-passing

http://subatomicbrainfreeze.typepad.com/subatomic_brainfreeze/2010/08/rip-satoshi-kon-were-lost-without-you.html

http://www.fangoria.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=1818:rip-perfect-blue-director-satoshi-kon&catid=1:latest-news&Itemid=167


http://www.boingboing.net/2010/08/25/rip-satoshi-kon.html

http://www.uk-anime.net/newsitem/Director_Satoshi_Kon_passes_away.html

http://www.cartoonbrew.com/anime/satoshi-kon-1963-2010.html

http://www.theepochtimes.com/n2/content/view/41520/

http://www.avclub.com/articles/rip-paprika-and-perfect-blue-director-satoshi-kon,44534/

(Update 8/26/2010)
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/26/arts/design/26kon.html?_r=1

http://raiwebs.blogspot.com/2010/08/satoshi-kon-dreamer.html

http://www.giantrobot.com/index.php/blogs/martin-post/satoshi_kon_rip

http://www.otakuusamagazine.com/Anime/News1/Satoshi_Kon_Memories_3374.aspx

http://www.japanator.com/satoshi-kon-1963-2010-16301.phtml


You damn right it is. Kon was one of the few Japanese Animation directors who made movies that appealed not only Anime fans but to film buffs and genre fans alike. It felt like his career was only at the beginning and it's a damn shame he won't be around to fulfill my selfish needs as a fan.

PS: I'll be adding more links to this if I come across them.

8.11.2010

Louisiana's Master (amateur) Chefs


Last night I caught the last half of that new Gordon Ramsay show Masterchef. Noticed that one of the contestants reminded me of someone. Initially, I figured it was that he looked kind of like Al Gore. A few minutes later they displayed "Max - LA" and it prompted me to think, "I think I went to high school with that dude."

A Google search or two later I found his full name then searched him on Facebook, we had several mutual friends thus verifying my suspicions. I also noticed that two of the contestants were from down here as well, a two woman, one from Vacherie and the other from Harvey.

I'm surprised the local media has not gotten wind of this and started airing stories or whatever. So I guess I win? Take that MEDIA!

7.26.2010

Remember Remember the 26th of Julytember

(8:54:18 AM) 82427930: I've invented a holiday today.
(8:54:24 AM) Louis: ?
(8:54:35 AM) 82427930: Tweet like an Anime Fan day.
(8:54:45 AM) Louis: damn you

To watch this forced meme fail go to:
http://twitter.com/#search?q=%23TweetLikeAnAnimeFan

7.14.2010

I'm just dumping some thinking I've been doing. It's most likely ill-informed and grossly generalized.

The severe flaw of democracy (The first person who says, "BUT WE'RE A REPUBLIC" is getting smacked) is that no one person is in control and bureaucracy is in place to keep it fair. As a result varying interpretations of the rules leads to paradoxes and confusion in execution. As a whole the system works because we're not all dead or living in a the 3rd world, well most of us anyways. But it is not swift and organized as a totalitarian dictatorship or monarchy under a good ruler,the death blow to that system is succession of course.

Right now we have a strong contingent in our society that proclaims business as the way to go. However businesses are essentially there to make money, while it may benefit them to help society in the long run the immediate need to provide dividends to stakeholders will result in catastrophe (ie oil spill, housing crisis, credit crisis, energy policy ect..). Businesses behave much like faster moving totalitarian systems or even small democracies but due to their size. When compared to our bulky multi-tiered government they will of course seem more appealing since the average jerk on the street can wrap their mind around it.

5.29.2010

Balls

Last Night I caught Jimmy Fallon singing about not swimming in the gulf because you might get tar balls in your mouth. Why anyone would swim on a Louisiana beach is beyond me, surf fishing makes way more sense. But anyways, I can't help but feel like I've had a big sweaty oil-soaked set of balls in my mouth the last month or so. So enjoy.



With all this talk of balls and attending a WWF show in the Arena last night I couldn't help but think back to this.


Maybe BP stands for More Balls Please? No that'd be MBP.

Whatever.

Maybe NBC can sell Fallon's song on iTunes and have the money go to the Gulf Coast restoration or something like that. Just planting seeds. Seeds are kind of like balls.


5.26.2010

How to Properly View the TOP KILL
or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Oil

Step 1: Aquire a copy of Boots Randolf's Yakety Sax.

Step 2: Install Media Player Classic Home Cinema (or install it as part of Combined Community Codec Pack).

Step 3: Open Media Player Classic Home Cinema.


Step 4: Click File then Open File... (or Press ctrl+O).


Step 5: Under Open copy and paste "http://mfile.akamai.com/97892/live/reflector:46245.asx" and under Dub browse to your Yakety Sax mp3 file and click OK.

Step 6: Notice that it doesn't work and just open the song in winamp and leave it on repeat while you watch the video in MPC.

2.04.2010

WHO DAT SAY WE GONNA HAVE AN ELECTION?

Christ, it seems like we have an election every other week down here. Something tells me that the proximity of Mardi Gras and City elections are hardly coincidental. But I doubt those who benefit most from it will do much to change it, I'm pretty sure the Super Bowl only makes it all the more sweet for them. Perhaps if the complacent masses were to engage in some sort of collective bitching we might be able to get the elections moved to a less cluttered time of the year (tangent loosely inspired by this).

I get an erection for a good election. However this political season has been rather blah. I mean Nagin is finally going away (fun fact: His last day in office is May31st which also happens to be my birthday)! We should be engaging in the kinds of public fornication as seen moments after Hartly's field goal. Instead we are left with the kind of line up that would inspire MC Hammer into taking up ballet.

Of course maybe this is what we need. We've spent centuries of having entertaining, charismatic, leaders who robbed us blind. We like to blame "those corrupt bastards" in power, however when it comes time to vote them out we blame so in so in district whatever and vote back in binky the clown and his wonderful bag of cream pies that we enjoy having smashed into our collective faces! (yeah, I don't know where I was going with that.)

(Warning: Sports Analogy) Sure we could have the flashy popular or charismatic bad boys like LA Lakers or Detroit Pistons in office, or we can have the boring ass San Antonio Spurs that is always in the championship game or damn near close to it year after year. Public office should be boring filled with people who go into work and simply work. Maybe we should bring in some asshole (i.e. competent) IT guy to block off facebook and ebay so they can maybe spend more time scrubbing that budget instead of posting pictures of their celebrity doppelganger on Facebook.

Anyway the Mayor's race is a joke, instead of debating issues and policy they pretty much claim they are going to do the same thing and they only debate on experience, who's got their back, or how black they are. Nothing of substance. As a result Landrieu is more than likely winning with no run off, so let's forget that race and focus on the other ones.

Assessor
The most important race in my opinion. The city had seven assessors that pretty much ran uncontested for years, and what I mean by years I mean double, no triple digits! Claude Mauberret III's family has held their spot for the 2nd District for 100 years. Errol Williams has held his seat since 1984. The 3rd major candidate Janis Lemle was a deputy assessor to reformer Nancy Marshall who unseated long term assessor in the 6th District.

It's pretty clear cut who has my vote here. Keep an eye out for these race-bating fliers. When handed one be sure to point and laugh at the idiot who gave it to you. If it was left in your mailbox or on your door I guess you can laugh at those instead. I don't think laughing at a mail box is a felony.

Sheriff/Coroner/Judges
Has an incumbent Sheriff (in any parish) ever lost a reelection bid? Has their handpicked successor ever lost? Why do we even vote for them? Why do we vote for the Sheriff but not the Chief of Police? Why do we vote for the fucking Coroner? Why aren't Judges just appointed and approved by elected officials like the supreme court? Seriously I don't know, please explain this to me!

City Council District A
Since I live in Lakeview and too lazy to cover the other District seats I'll just cover District A. Didn't we (I was still living on the Northshore at the time, so maybe I should say you?) vote out Jay Batt after Katrina and hate his guts? Shelly Midura seemed to be pretty cool and I was digging what she's been doing with her hair lately. Wish she'd run again. I guess I'm rooting for Guidry since she has a better chance of beating Batt.

City Council LIVIN' AT LARGE
No one is really talking about this race too much. Fielkow and Clarkson are gonna win again. No one have given me any good dirt for this one. Most seem to like Fielkow. Eh.

Well I'm out of material, go vote before you get hammered! Go Saints! Fuck ESPN! I'm sick of Katrina Human interest stories! I like big butts and I cannot lie!