9.25.2010

Super Dimension Space Battle Cruiser Ship Fortress Hyper Fighter Craft LIST THINGY

The other day someone tweeted me this really lame list of someone's favorite spaceships. Anyone worth their salt in nerd lore will immediately notice that a. this guy likes Star Wars, 2. watched that Battlestar Galactica show on TV once, and iii. doesn't understand what repulsorlifts or speeders are.

So after being that guy for a little while mocking the list on twitter I've decided to kick it up a notch and be even more like that guy and make a list of my very own! Not only do I get to prove I have a bigger geek dick than the Orlando Sentinel but I can leave myself utterly exposed to be mocked as well, in addition to all that I will be providing content for this piece of shit awesome blog. Win win for everyone!

Preface: Hard Mode
This list will not contain anything from mainstream television and movies of the last few years. Sorry, no Star Trek, Star Wars, Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Who, or even popular Anime stuff from Starblazers (aka Yamato), Macross (aka Robotech), Cowboy Bebop, and to make it even harder on myself Gundam! ha! By God! My nerd penis is so HUGE!! Look at me!

The List

123. Dauntless - the Lensman Series.
Not only was it shaped like something Bill Clinton would use to make one of his interns famous, but it was a SUPER-DREADNAUGHT which sounds totally bad-ass! The Dauntless was the favorite ship of everyone's favorite Second Stage Lensman Kimball Kinnison and was the flagship of the Galactic Patrol until it was replaced by the not so bad-ass but way more tactical Z9M9Z command ship.

VI: Exelion - Top o Nerae! Gunbuster
This sweet ride helped defend planet Earth from the galactic immune system and housed not only a huge army of flying robots but the Gunbuster which the show is named after of course. After being decommissioned the Excelion spent it's retirement BEING A BLACK HOLE!

100110101. Hyperion - Legend of the Galactic Heroes

The Hyperion was the flagship of the for great tactician Yang Wen-li of the Free Planets Alliance. For such a simple looking ship no other could command as much respect and fear. Like one time the bad guys attacked the good guys, and like Yang was not on the ship right? And the bad guys were all "oh snap! the Hyperion! We bout' to get f'ed in the a!" and they punked out like a bunch of lil bitches. Yep, that's exactly the kind of show Legend of the Galactic Heroes was.

27. The :D Ship - Heavy Metal
Not only does it look like something from a Van Halen poster but the ship from the So Beautiful and So Dangerous story looks like an adorable "colon dee" smiley face. I on the other hand see it as an ominous red-eyed Quintesson type of thing. Just ignore the green things, go with me on this.

☆☎☜. Heighliner - Dune
This massive ship can fit an entire fleet in it's hull and are the only things capable of traveling long distances in space in the Dune Universe. They're piloted by these things and were involved in the greatest scene in science fiction cinematic history.

111111!1. Arcadia - Uchu Kaizoku Captain Harlock
The Arcadia is the super swank space pirate ship of one Captain Harlock. She's manned by a capable crew of potato-head men and has Harlock's best friend's brain for its computer, or something. Of all the iterations of this ship I like the original blue ship most of all. Check out that bayonet, I mean RAM. You won't see that on a Star Destroyer well maybe if George Lucas wasn't so much of a bitch. Yeah that's right, I'm calling you out George!

Epilogue
That should do it for me. I believe I have cemented my "Geek Cred" beyond a shadow of a doubt and above all else shown to the entire universe that lists are stupid! Unless it's a grocery list because you've got to make groceries or a list people you've slept with, because ,you know STDs, bragging rights, take your pick. I do enjoy David Letterman's top 10 list on occasion as well. Ok, so maybe the jury is out on lists.

Ingest more Scifi, damnit! Leave some feedback (So I know I'm not wasting my time [which I am.]), sing my praises, or to correct any mistakes (as if) in the comments below.

**Thanks to Dave Merrill for the Arcadia picture, and Google® for all the other ones.

9.17.2010

Rising Tide 5: A Convention without Cosplay
Serpassing all Expectations

This past weekend A few weekends ago I attended Rising Tide 5, a one day local blogger/rebuilding type of conference down in New Orleans. I was immersed in a crowd of strangers all on my lonesome since none my my friends were interested in going. Now that I think about it, I should have invited Ally since she's pretty prolific on the twitters. Anyway, I did a lot of pacing, drinking, and keeping pretty much to myself. But I did meet a few people along the way.

Day 1: Pre-party

Friday evening I drove down to the Howling Wolf in the Warehouse district. Parking was non-existent so I used a parking garage across the street. I then walked up and in to the Howling Wolf. Inside a band was setting up for a gig. No bloggers to be seen. After asking around by a couple of other attendees who showed up at the same time we discovered the party was in the bar and grill attached to the side. I go in, start my tab, drank a few beers, and watched the Saints game.

At halftime I had enough liquid courage within me to go up to strangers. My typical greeting was "SO, WHICH INTERNET PERSON ARE YOU?" Most people had their real names on their name tags, this is an internet people conference, I needed internet names damnit.

After some Rising Tide staff "fabulous prizes" were awarded the party wound down and people stumbled off to hotel room parties or, in my case, bed.

Day 2: The Actual Conference/After-Party

I kind of slept walked/drove to the conference the next day. After enjoying same baked goods and moving my car to a parking garage instead of parking illegally like other attendees I took and seat and watched the first round of panels. At the initial "smoke break" I got my first beer and pretty much averaged a beer per panel from then on.

Panels were informative and a lil' preachy to the choir at times but that is to be expected. Some of the "questions" by the audience were more people getting on their soap box, kinda reminded me of people calling in to radio talk shows.

My favorite panel had to have been the politics panel, with Clancy DuBos being the MVP. Seeing Ronal Serpas on a panel Serpassed all Expectations™ with me. The keynote speaker was pretty funny, anyone willing to call Bobby Jindal a "fucking douchbag" is a-ok with me.

After the conference I helped carry some donated food to someone's car. After much deliberation by organizers and other attendees the location of the after party was chosen, the Half Moon just off of Magazine Street.

At the after-party I was starting to get a lil more comfortable but I was still in observer mode overall. The bar itself and the cheeseburger was alright. I left slightly later that most, but there was a good 10 left who gave me a round of applause when I left.

Blatant Name Dropping or "Man my first impressions are going to be sooo wrong if I read this 10 years later."

Mark aka Oyster was a nice goofy guy, hung out with him more at the after party. He was one of the few who stood up to my staggering 6'3 3/4" 6'4" frame, he was an inch or two taller than me. We share a birthday with Clint Eastwood, go us.

Jeff from the Library Chronicles, loves piss beer and is just as much of a smartass as I expected. He did a good job of inflating my twitter ego. For some reason he assumed the identity of another blogger at the pre-party to what I can only assume would be to ruin his good name.

Varg from the Chicory seems to be the life of the party, he and his wife gave me some wedding pointers the during one of the smoke breaks, good people. At the after-party he told me about the alcohol lobby he wants to start up.

Lamar of CenLamar was pretty cool, sharp guy. Sucks that he lives in the blander part of the state. Just kidding.

Met one blogger didn't realize who he was then noticed he was Jason Berry aka Ashe Dambala of American Zombie fame. Initially he reminded me of a guy I used to work with in college, then after realizing who he was he came off as some darker internet badass. Silly human perception.

Peter aka Adrastos wacky guy with a nice hat (or was that the other way around?), seemed a lil busy or distracted. His wife was nice and was making everyone feel at home.

Karl was a real bro' he was a reoccurring hangout buddy. I hear he lives a double life in California or was that online? I forget.

Loki aka George aka not a damn Yankee aka so New Orleans he shi... um never mind, had a very rock star attitude. I guess being cramped up in Ohio will make anyone snap in that way? He runs too many websites for me to reference here.

Tim writer of his own namesless blog has a kid into the Animu and put me on the spot about my Hulk shirt at the after party. Dry and sciency which is rad. His Dam(n)/Levee Safety panel was fun.

Derrick and Mags were cool. Though I mainly plotted bank robbery with Derrick on twitter.

Honorable mentions go out to Racymind and Virgotex whose real names fail me now. They were cool chicks.

I met the infamous linchpin of the underground journalistic movement known only as The Lens Karen Gadbois. Didn't talk to her much but she had a real glowing personality to me.

Who else? Leigh and Sharon seemed to be the den mothers of this motley little convention. They were hip dames.

Pistolette was cool, pretty sure she could kick my ass. She had some opposing viewpoints which is good.

I know I am leaving a few people out. I blame the alcohol and social awkwardness. I'm also bad with names. Anyway, didn't really meet a bad person really decent human being.

Epilogue

Rising Tide was a fun conference overall. Next year should be a bit better since I know people now. One more thing, I learned I was almost not allowed in because of the "guyhatesyou" thing. People were wondering if I was some kind of hate group or something. "The one man hate group" I kinda dig that.